Licking Catherine Zeta Jones' Vagina Causes Cancer

Catherine Zeta Jones vagina lick

Michael Douglas has found out the hard way that licking Catherine Zeta Jones’ vagina causes cancer.

After being diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer, Michael Douglas was asked if he regretted all his years of smoking. He told the reporter that doctors have confirmed that he didn’t developed throat cancer from smoking, but rather from contracting HPV while licking Catherine Zeta Jones’ vagina (source).

Thankfully throat cancer is non-existent in the Islamic world because the holy Qur’an teaches us that performing cunnilingus on Catherine Zeta Jones is not halal, as a woman’s vagina is infested with malicious Shaitans who enjoy nothing more than defiling the body of a man.

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19 votes
  1. David Jordan

    Jones is not Arab... She's welsh.

  2. Moishy Haizene

    It could have been from licking her butthole, you know, There's a lot more bacteria and nasty stuff there in the butthole area than in the vag area. Just sayin'.

  3. Moishy Haizene

    It could have been from licking her butthole, you know, There's a lot more bacteria and nasty stuff there in the butthole area than in the vag area. Just sayin'.

  4. America Fuck Yeah!!

    Being a sand nigger also causes cancer. Just say bro.

  5. Hassam Alama Ding Dong

    ALWAYS use a stunt cock and a stunt tongue when violating a bipolar British chick. 'Nuff said.


    I love to slurp semen that's dripping out of another girls vagina after she's been fucked.

  7. jesus

    whoever likes this site has no real human values or dignity..

  8. Cill

    Trushna Hasani
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  9. Imam Khalid

    Brothers, I need your help and advice on two matters that are causing me much frustration and misery:

    First, after years of accepting all manner and sizes, living and artificial, of phalluses inside my anus, I now find that my 12” long x 4” diameter Mega-Donkey dildo no longer touches the sides. I have searched every Gay Pride Book and Toy Store in Teheran but the Mega-Donkey is the largest I can find. Do any of you know where I can purchase a bigger one?

    My second problem is a source of even greater grief to me. Last night, whilst being pleasured by two dancing boys and a goat, in the throes of my ecstasy I inadvertently bit the penis off my blow-up camel.

    My inflatable friend is now lying forlorn, flat and useless on the floor of my tent. He is more than just a sex-toy to me. Having been a source of so much pleasure to me for so many years, I now realise that I am truly in love with him and cannot simply replace him. If any of my esteemed brothers has encountered this problem before and knows how to seal my rubber camel’s penis back on, I will be forever in your debt. I would be prepared to part with four of my favorite dancing boys, just for information on how to repair him.

  10. mayhem

    start licking you worthless sand niggers

  11. Word of wisdom

    It is well known that zionist agent Michael Douglas didn't get his papillomavirus from Mrs. Khadija Zaïta Al Joonassi. She is a true believer, and a mother of many djihadists and martyrs, who's been the captive of this mossad agent for years, and although she is a prisoner, she would rather detonate herself than indulge in promiscuity with a filthy djinn infested jew.
    Actually, Douglas contracted this cancer virus by sucking cocks for so many decades, in every occasion : bar mitzvahs, Disney events, friday night schule at the synagogue, mikveh darkroom, kosher charity meetings, on the set of the many movies he got in, and of course, at the famous Beverly Hills Pink Parties hosted by Chaim Zuckerstein.

    Of course, now he blames his muslim innocent captive, while it is truly the generous Khadija Zaïta Al Joonassi who cured him despite the torments he has been inflicting her for years : in the hope of converting him to the true faith (she is naive) she taught Douglas the correct qu'ran verses to chant every evening to cure his sick throat (the verses condemning the jews), but, hey, what do you expect from the race of shaitan ? Gratitude ?

  12. Team America

    That's funny

    Because the aids infested gay ass raper the Reaper also loves nothing more than defiling men's bodies. Does that mean he's a shaitan?

    America! With liberty and justice for all!

  13. Grand Dragon Pete

    PSA to all muslim men:

    Licking man pussy (or back pussy) can lead to AIDS, shit breath, ass cancer of the mouth, small penis syndrome, and severe cases of homofagness.

    Think about this information before you give your next rim job.....which will probably be in the next 60 seconds.




  15. dick hertz

    dat boy be eating some bad pussy!

  16. lol

    actually is true, if u like vaginas, u can get cancer, hard to believe but true,



  18. aghmed

    The problem is that he licked Catherine's filthy baby cave after I shat in it. It is the closest Mr. homoqueer douglas could get to fulfilling his dream of licking my tight hairy Muslim rectum.

  19. Secondies


  20. Beastly man

    Licking her crotch is worth the risk...., that looks rather tasty!

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